Wednesday, 10 June 2009

• I applied for my visa to Russia today, and I am supposed to pick it up on June 24th at 3 pm, and get on the train to go back to Russia at 4:48!!  That is going to be an interesting day!!  But at least I now know that I can get a Russian visa in Kiev.....

  I wrote this on the plane from Budapest to Kiev when I traveled yesterday......

  I am floating above the earth, again traveling between countries.  I think air travel is too fast sometimes.   Sometimes I wish I had to take a boat or a train, so that there was time for reflection.   On a boat, there are weeks between shores, and you have time to really think about what you have left behind, and what you are headed towards.   At least on a train it takes hours to cover the miles, and there is nothing to do but read and think.   But, alas, like everything in our world, we now travel more “efficiently” – which really means just faster, and it takes me just a hour to get from Budapest, Hungary, and all that transpired there in nearly 6 weeks, to Kiev, Ukraine, where I have a history, friends, a church, and a lot of catching up to do in a short amount of time. I better reflect more “efficiently”.

  It seems to me that I was in Hungary for more like 6 months, and not just 6 weeks.   But, like with most experiences in life, now that I have come to the end of it, and walked through another set of “last days”, it seems like just a blur, just a blip on the radar, it went by so fast.  Somewhere in the middle of it, I realized I was allowed to enjoy it.   I have left on these “exiles” from Russia somehow thinking that I had to prove that I wanted to come back by complaining about where I was going.   I felt guilty that I got to see a new place, and felt like I needed to prove that I wouldn’t have chosen it if I could have stayed in Russia, instead of just enjoying the exciting possibilities of what was handed to me, courtesy of the Russian Federation:  a requirement to travel.   Funny that it took me nearly a year to figure it out, but I realized I wasn’t helping anyone by not enjoying it.  My friends that can’t travel weren’t somehow comforted that I wasn’t enjoying myself (I think they were more vexed that I wouldn’t appreciate something they wish they had), my Russian friends and co workers weren’t looking for reassurance that I was coming back (they think about it a lot less than I do, I think – if I come back I come back…), and my supporters didn’t see it as my sneaky way of getting a vacation (Russia didn’t consult me before it made this law.)  In the end, I was just being ungrateful and frustrated for absolutely no good reason.  And since life affords us all plenty of natural opportunities for frustration, I figured it was silly to make my own.

  So, I spent a month and a half in Budapest.  And let me tell you, it is a fantastic city.   It has all the benefits of Eastern Europe (cheaper without the Euro,  heartier people, really rich culture, less commercialized, touristized, modernized)  with a really western (i.e. convenience is king) feel.    I supposed it is all in what you compare it to, but I really liked it.  I have heard that Budapest has been called the Paris of Central Europe.  I think it is better than Paris!   The Parliament, the Buda Castle, the museums, Andrassy Avenue, etc, and so on.  It did this city girl’s heart really good to be in such a metropolitan, history rich town with so much to see and do, and so much to learn.   

  And then there was the class.  It was a lot of work, but provided me with EXACTLY what I was looking for: a systematic, and effective way to teach English.  How to put all that in practice when I get back is still going to be a bit tricky, but now I have a framework.  And I learned something about myself.  I really enjoy and have some ability in working with languages, even my own.   I wish there had been a chance when I was a child to get a head start on this whole language acquisition thing, but I am not planning on wasting any time now.     The class also gave me a chance to see myself, and my work through others’ eyes.  To be honest, I think my classmates thought I was crazy, and a little bit weird.   Russia is apparently not the exotic destination that Vienna or Budapest is, and so to live there seems a little weird to Western Europeans, and Americans, that have the world open to them.  And then to live there to tell people about Christ.  One classmate told me, “it seems like such a waste.”  Working with orphans to provide them with physical things makes sense, but spiritual things seem like a waste of time.    It is a good reminder to see the world the way those who are not submitted to God see it.   I forget that it is, as Jesus said, “foolishness in the eyes of the world.” 

  So, the time in Budapest was good, challenging, and stretching.   And now it is time to go back in time, to Kiev.   It feels a little like when you go back to High School or College, to visit, after you have graduated.  Everything is going to be different…their lives have gone on without me (how dare they! J) And yet, there are so many connections there, and memories.  I have a lot of people to see and a lot of things to do in two weeks.   I am excited and scared at the same time.

  And then it is back to Russia.   To be honest, I am very nervous about that.  The last time, when I went back in February, everything was so different than I expected, and it was such a hard three months,  I guess I have really low expectations this time.  Maybe that will serve me well.   The summer will be very busy, and then in September, as long as I get my permit and can stay, regular life will set in, whatever in the world that is going to look like…I have forgotten what it was like to have a schedule and a normal person existence.    I don’t want to have to leave again, but it is going to be strange to not have a departure in the near future.  I have become like one of those tundra plants that have very shallow roots because the ground is frozen six inches under.   I am going to have to learn all over again how to be a tree, with deep roots, and a long, steady, constant growth in one place.

   

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